. . .

remember the good old memories that people share?
remember the times that friends say "i miss you" and then they never speak to each other for like the next 5 months?
that's how i feel.
i lost my bestfriend and friend last year.
Losing a bestfriend. . . really and absolutely gets to you.
i cried for about 2 months. every day. at my desk go on facebook and see his picture and cry.
and ask god this question "why?"
to tell you the truth asking why doesn't mean anything.
because God didn't tap the person on the back and say your dead.
and they magically drop dead.

sometimes people know when their going to die; which scares me.
i never know want to know when i'm going to die.
death is one of my fears. my ULTIMATE fear actually.
i think about it every night.
saying i never want to die and leave everything i have in my hands.
but; there comes a time when everyone needs to die.

and that's when i need to realize. the reason why my two friends left me wasn't because God told them they have to leave, it was because they knew. i need to leave ; go to a place where everyone will go one day.
and i hope one day i go with them. and see them.
and when i do...i'll cry, laugh, scream, all the emotions but most of all.
be happy that their right by me.
hugging me. singing with me.

living with me.

dedicated to
Christopher "Chico" Segarra* restinParadise. December 2nd, 2009
Derek "Titi" Lagos RestinParadise* October 12th, 2009